


Jelly

by m3la



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Jealousy, L doing what he does best, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, University Arc, Which is being a dick, crack plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-24 09:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m3la/pseuds/m3la
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the case postponed, Light is shocked to watch as Ryuuzaki does something completely out of the ordinary: spend time with another person, and what's more, actually appear to enjoy their company.  In fact, the undivided attention of his rival that Light is so used to being entirely reserved for himself seems to have been stolen by this new... friend of his. </p><p>Though certainly nowhere near willing to acknowledge it, there may be the teeniest, tiniest chance that the God of the New World just so happens to be a little bit...</p><p>...Jelly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nothing Beats a Jelly-Filled Doughnut

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this a while back, actually, but sidelined it to work on other stuff. .u. This is named in my files as **Jelly Kira Simulator 2016.**
> 
> I couldn't remember there being too many fics involving Light getting jealous over L, while there are quite a few that have the reverse. But it started when I had the idea that it would be funny/cute if L actually went on a date with his university arc fangirl (Kyoko) who shows up for like 2 panels.
> 
> And big inspiration thanks to the TvTropes HoYay page of DN for pointing out so many hilarious ways that you can see Uni Arc Kira as basically being a five-year-old with a crush... omfg. I just can't get enough of writing him as being really immature. It's just funny for a reason that's hard to explain. Probably only to me but still. Writing things that nobody but yourself wants to see is basically the entire point of fanfiction. In any case, can we all agree that Light is and always has been a dumb teenage nerd? Never going to be able to get enough of pre-Yotsuba arc Kira/L's relationship being parodied.
> 
> Anyone who notices the Skulduggery Pleasant quote gets a delicious jelly-filled doughnut. c; c;

When he saw the limo pull up on campus for, surprisingly, the first time this week – no, the first time in three weeks, Light was both intrigued and slightly disconcerted.

As Kira, it was natural to be keeping tabs on what his greatest adversary was not only doing at all times, but most importantly, _thinking_ at all times, and he was forced to admit that he'd been surprised yet again by him on this one - as it happened, Ryuuzaki did in fact turn up to university on a 'regular' basis in the literal sense of the word – this basis was every other Tuesday when the nearby cafe had ice cream sundae specials.

But today was Thursday, meaning Ryuuzaki had to be here for some other reason. And it was unlikely to be for the simple pleasure of his primary suspect's company.

He could feel the stares and hear the whispers of the other students on campus as they saw him walk over, muttering about the two geniuses and their strange friendship.

Waving from afar as he approached the vehicle, Light beamed at the window as it rolled down in front of him. "Good morning, Ryuuzaki. Going incognito as usual, I see."

Ryuuzaki narrowed his eyes slightly, not replying. He then opened the door and stepped out, falling instantly into a slouch. " _Ryuga_ , Light-kun."

Light smiled as if it had been a simple accident. "Sorry. You wouldn't want to draw any unneeded attention, right?"

At the moment, Kira and L were at something of a stalemate. It was such a pain having to act this way around him. But at the same time it was somewhat exhilarating, being constantly this close. Whenever they were in public, it felt like a game of pretending to have normal lives and normal concerns; pretending to have… a, well, _friendship._ (Hello there, breakfast.) It was plain to see in every look from the other that his true identity was acknowledged, but only when alone did the wonderful, frustrating mind games truly begin, and as they were in public, this was not one of those times.

Light did suppose that for that reason, at least, he had to appreciate the man a little. Give him some credit. He was never _boring,_ there was no denying that.

_It really is such a shame I'll have to kill you, Ryuuzaki._

His fellow genius, his equal, but also his sworn rival to the death –

 _…Wait, where are you walking off to?_ Light only just noticed the other had gone off somewhere while he was contemplating things completely relevant to his future godhood and left him awkwardly standing there on his own.

Ignoring the slight embarrassment threatening to dent his pride, Light turned around and started following Ryuuzaki at the most casual pace he could manage, making sure nobody was giving him any odd looks. Ryuuzaki was now standing in place with his hand to his mouth, probably thinking about something, so it was easy to catch up.

Forcing an awkward laugh, Light decided to get his attention. "Oi, Ryuuga. I got distracted and didn't see where you were going."

Ryuuzaki stared at whatever he was so fixed on for a few more moments, making an odd humming sound, appearing as always to be completely on his own wavelength. But just before Light got too impatient or started to think he was being ignored, the other turned around with a blink and finally replied.

"Oh. Well, I decided I wanted to get some ice cream. If you'd like to come along too, Light-kun, you're welcome." Something in Ryuuzaki's eyes sparkled as he hid the beginnings of a grin underneath his thumb. "The specials are on Thursdays now."

* * *

It was a nice day outside. The weather report predicted that the afternoon would be sunny and pleasant with a slight breeze.

Misa Amane was established an agreeable 665 kilometres from his present location, having been called out of the blue on a week-long photoshoot half the country away.

His shirt was perfectly ironed, betraying not a single wrinkle of imperfection. (Much like his plans to become a living god, actually.)

Ryuk was busy, too. Light had managed to bribe him to stay home today with a crate of apples, just to spare his ears from constant cackling for a little while.

And, most importantly, his mortal enemy, simpering like a child across the table and licking ice cream off his fingers, still had no conclusive proof that he was a serial killer.

Of course – he knew that meeting Ryuuzaki in this coffee shop again like he'd done before would hold no pretexts aside from one of friendship. No matter how closely those creepy goggle-eyes tried to analyse the cherry topping the ice cream sundae in front of him, eyeing it suspiciously as if it were Kira in the flesh, he would not gain the upper hand from this situation.

Light observed the other carefully from behind his coffee cup, pondering as usual what the reclusive detective known solely as L could possibly be thinking. No doubt sizing him up at every moment, trying to translate every minute action he made into a sign of being Kira. No doubt this was clear in the way he was prodding that cherry around on his spoon with the tip of his finger, fixing it with no less than the totality of his attention.

The cherry, of course, represented his prize. His proof, his capture of Kira. Such as it was normally reserved for last; the cream of the crop, the cherry on top, L wouldn't want it just now.

Ryuuzaki was tilting his head back and forth, chewing on his lip absentmindedly as he toyed with the idea of eating it. His lips moved all of a sudden, seemingly mouthing something, but if he'd said anything, Light couldn't hear it over the other people in the cafe talking. He grinned to himself behind his coffee cup. _Accusing me of being Kira when I can't hear it? There's no need to even speak, L. I have you all figured out, just like always. There's nothing you can hide from me._

Yes, he wouldn't want that proof now. Doubtlessly, L was devoted to the chase, saving that sweet, sweet damning evidence for last. He knew already that Light was Kira; figuring out how he worked would make up the rest of the creamy ice cream sundae, and then, the cherry on top, the final prize would be...

"Justice shall always prevail…" There was a _squish_ and the cherry was pressed harshly into the spoon under Ryuuzaki's thumb.

Light's chest clenched instantly with vindication and his mouth dropped open as he tried to think of something to say, but stopped as Ryuuzaki held the spoon with the cherry out towards him, snapping him out of his thoughts and putting him on guard instantly. What could this be about...? Another test?

Ryuuzaki stared for a few moments before blandly asking, "Would you like my cherry, Yagami-kun?"

Interesting. An underhanded tactic disguised as something so very simple. Would Kira accept such a seemingly-innocent gesture of friendship? Accepting the cherry would surely mask any hidden intentions of his. This was nothing that Light didn't know how to deal with. He'd show L who was better.

_First, make eye contact and smile, tilt your head and say..._

"Sure, Ryuuzaki, why not?"

_And then... Take the cherry... And eat it._

All of a sudden, Ryuuzaki was blinking oddly at him. "Are you... okay, Yagami-kun? You look very serious all of a sudden."

The cherry caught in his throat and Light choked, coughing and hacking with extreme inelegance. So much for showing Kira's superiority here. 

Before he could recompose himself and respond, however, a muffled phone jingle filled the air.

"Hold that thought," Ryuuzaki quickly added, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dangling it by his ear.

"Yes?" he answered, tilting his head slightly. Light managed to swallow the cherry after dislodging it and wondered why the room was so hot all of a sudden. "Oh...? I see. What do you intend to do?"

This was a call from Watari, of course. Obviously it was useless to try and figure out what they were talking about, but it seemed something odd and unexpected must have happened.

"Hmm... are you sure? Oh. I understand. Urgent. If that's how things have to be, then... Ah yes. I suppose I will... Well, that's going to be a shame, but regardless I understand what needs to be done. Bye."

Ryuuzaki hung up and put the phone back in his pocket, turning his attention back to Light. He looked a little annoyed.

Well, truth be told, he always kind of looked like that. So maybe now, he was really, _really_ annoyed – as if, say, Kira had just sent a cake iced with his full name and future date of death to his home address. (But clearly that was not the case, for not only would Light be aware of it, he would be in his bedroom laughing like a madman with Ryuk about it like he did when most of the amazing gambits against his mortal enemy he came up with went according to plan.)

(He did need to do that a little more quietly, though, since his mother was beginning to become concerned.)

(…Oh, right. Mortal enemy. Yes, Light was indeed supposed to be paying attention to him.)

"Things are going to be a little boring from now on, it seems," Ryuuzaki droned, mindlessly spooning the remainder of his sundae into his mouth without looking and fantastically missing the mark. "I apologize, I have to leave now to make some assessments about the situation. I'll see you later."

Ice cream was dribbling down Ryuuzaki's chin, and Light awkwardly gestured to the area on his own face in the hope the other would get the message.

Ryuuzaki blinked in mock confusion at the gesture. "Hmm? No, Yagami-kun, I don't believe there's anything strange or otherwise unsightly about your face at the moment, aside of course from its usual appearance." He then got up from his seat, leaving Light to gawk in masked distaste. "I'll be going now, since it's something important. Bye."

* * *

It was odd and quite frankly a little antisocial, to say the least, to accept an invitation to eat with somebody and then heatedly stare at them for the entire duration of your definitely-not-a-date.

But that was just how the manner of his prime suspect in this case seemed to incline itself. Which was a vague way of phrasing the fact that he just stared at him a hell of a lot more than was platonically advisable.

Not that L could really think this without being a little hypocritical, since he did this exact thing routinely to that very same suspect, and indeed most people, up to and including old ladies on the street and his personal dentist. But just without the… _smoulder._ Yes, that was correct. It just wasn't normal, or healthy, really, to keep your eyes dangerously narrowed for such a disproportionate amount of time around a single person.

To be fair, however, Light Yagami was most likely neither.

In any case, L was getting a little bored now, and so since the two of them were not having any meaningful conversation at the moment he started imagining the cherry on top of his sundae speaking.

L scooped it up with his spoon and prodded it with his finger.

_'Ow.'_

This seemed like it would be enough to entertain him for a while. L prodded the cherry again and again, imagining the noise each time he did so.

_"Ow. Ow. Owwww..."_

Yagami was still staring. It was becoming a little uncomfortable, in fact.

_"L-san, I beg you, please don't eat meeee!"_

L leaned in close to inspect the cherry, fixing it with a knowing gaze. He stopped poking it and instead nibbled at his thumb, deciding on a fitting sentence.

_"I'm innocent. Innoceeeent!"_

Unthinkingly he had fallen a little too deep into his little imagination spot and mumbled under his breath. "Cherry-san, I apologize, but I hold your claims of innocence in heavy disbelief."

L pressed down on it with his finger, squishing it into an oval.

_"Nooo! You'll never make me confess!"_

"Justice shall always prevail, Cherry-san."

_"Nooooooo!"_

And he squished it into the spoon.

 _Hmm…_ L frowned. There was no point in eating the cherry now. It would simply taste of the bitterness of injustice, of course. Ah. Speaking of injustice…

L looked up towards the other side of the booth and held out his spoon. "Would you like my cherry, Light-kun?"

Yagami's mouth dropped open at this for some reason and he seemed to shift in apparent discomfort for a second, staring at the cherry for a moment before recomposing himself in the blink of an eye with a pleasant smile. Completely bizarre, but then again… so was Kira. _Yes. I've figured it out. The jig is up, Light Yagami. I truly am a genius.  
_

_Of course, I can't use that reasoning to convict him… Ah, back to square one…_

"Sure, Ryuuzaki, why not?" he replied, and Light picked the cherry off the spoon to eat it. For some reason, he made quite a dramatic show of it, placing it into his mouth slowly with a strange grin, seeming to be deep in thought.

"Are you... okay, Yagami-kun? You look very serious all of a sudden."

Light was pulled out of his random distraction at this and suddenly choked; the cherry stuck in his throat and he coughed violently, and L blinked at him in surprise and wonder. You had to be quite skilled to choke on a flat cherry. Amused as he was, though, at watching his suspect receive what must have been karmic vengeance, L's attention was drawn away as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and quickly drew it out to answer.

"Yes?"

Watari answered on the other end. "Ryuuzaki, I have some unfortunate news unrelated to the Kira case. The investigation must be put on hold for a few days. I need to return to England. There's been an... Incident _M-2."_

_Wonderful._

"Oh...? I see. What do you intend to do?"

" _Sigh._ Well... he's threatening to sell the House out to some shady circles if he doesn't get a life-size Belgian chocolate bunny for his birthday. You give a child a _one-of-a-kind_ life-size Belgian chocolate bunny _one_ time for _one_ birthday, and then _this_ happens. And, yes, as you remember the chocolatier responsible is currently jailed for that illegal smuggling ring surrounding his business that you exposed. So as you understand, the investigation cannot continue with your heirs possibly compromised like this, as our back-up plan will be forfeit. Therefore, I need you to come up with your own plan of action for the next few days. It shouldn't take me long, but be prepared."

 _So much fuss for one, little, fussy child._ L was glad sometimes that he was never a child. …Wait, no, he was. Well, at least he knew how to keep well enough to himself and devise better blackmailing schemes when _he_ wanted a life-size chocolate bunny for his birthday. Honestly, were these children being raised as amateurs? How disappointing.

"Hmm... are you sure?"

"Ryuuzaki..."

"Oh. I understand. Urgent. If that's how things have to be, then..."

"You may continue to observe Light Yagami on campus if you wish. That is all. Wish me luck, I'll need it."

"Ah yes. I suppose I will... Well, that's going to be a shame, but regardless I understand what needs to be done. Bye."

"As I speak, I'm to arrive in Brussels within the hour. There's cake in the fridge. Try not to die. I'll return soon."

L hung up and pocketed his phone again, holding in a sigh of annoyance as he turned back to his suspect, who had pretended not to be trying to listen in on the conversation the entire time.

"Things are going to be a little boring from now on, it seems," he announced, finding that his appetite was now sufficiently ruined. He wasn't really paying attention and ended up directing a spoonful to his chin instead, cursing inwardly, but remained impassive as if this had been his plan the entire time. It was all, uh… in how you carried yourself. Yes.

"…I apologize, I have to leave now to make some assessments about the situation. I'll see you later."

Yagami, bless his amoral heart, was awkwardly pointing to his face now in some attempt to make L notice the mess he had made. But there was no point in shamefully backing out here. The less your enemies, and even your allies, thought you were human, the less they expected you to make mistakes.

"Hmm?" L hummed, nibbling at his thumb. "No, Yagami-kun, I don't believe there's anything strange or otherwise unsightly about your face at the moment, aside of course from its usual appearance."

He had to actually fight the urge to snort as Yagami made the most indignant, prissy face possible, a face showing clear disbelief at having been called unattractive for what must have been the first time in his entire life. Amazing. Just amazing. L figured he wouldn't care if Kira had him dead in a ditch by tomorrow if it meant he could've taken a picture of that face and framed it on his desk.

"…I'll be going now, since it's something important. Bye."

With that, L rose and went to leave, his mood worsening again as he remembered the phone conversation and the information that had come with it. So, the case was postponed.

Well. It seemed like he'd need to come up with something to entertain himself with for the next three days.

* * *

So. Mortal enemies. Not everybody was lucky enough to have one.

And so, as luck would have it, or... as undignified stalking would have it (so somebody of nemesis-less status might have put it.) Light spotted Ryuuzaki on campus later, doing nothing obviously important. He was sitting on a nearby bench reading a book, certainly not appearing to have any important, urgent matters to be attending to – very contrary to his earlier claims. Hmm.

There was a short-haired girl with glasses sitting on the other end who was wobbling like jelly, sneaking glances his way every few seconds. Light remembered she'd been at their tennis game, cheering 'Ryuuga' on. Oh, great, so somehow even someone like Ryuuzaki managed to get an admirer... Well, maybe _he'd_ get to find out how it felt to have so many annoying girls after you.

"Ryuuga-kun?" The girl finally worked up the courage to speak. Light was pretending not to ignore the group of people he was talking with; he was at a decent enough distance that it wouldn't be obvious he was… well… eavesdropping.

Ryuuzaki put down his book and turned to her with a smile that seemed maltreated by his features. A smile. That was the first ever time Light had seen the man smile at a complete _stranger._ How… strange.

"Kaji Kyoko-san, right?"

 _…And, mental note_ taken _…_

Kyoko went red and just about exploded on the spot at the mention of her name. "You… were really cool at that tennis game. I know it was a while ago but I just didn't know how to talk to you…"

Ryuuzaki placed a finger to his mouth and looked around for a moment. For a second, Light thought he might have been spotted, and made sure to pretend he was involved in his friends' conversation for a while, keeping an ear open in case he'd catch anything else.

"Y-you can call me Kyoko... Uh, I was wondering if it was really okay to talk to you..." A shy and timid type. Well, he did suppose that Ryuuzaki gave off a fairly unapproachable aura in the first place -- anybody would be nervous about starting a conversation with him. And most people here were.

Light, of course, revelled in not being _'most people'._ It was always such a power trip to know the true sway he held over not only 'Ryuuga', but the detective L. Kaji seemed so pathetic in comparison to himself.

Ryuuzaki nodded. "Why not? Actually, I don't really know many people here yet."

L was seriously paying attention to that girl? Was he really that bored? _Important business indeed, hmm…_

"Well, that's probably because you're around Yagami Light-kun, that other amazing genius, all the time..."

Ryuzaki tilted his head with a dismissive shrug. "Well to be honest, he's not really all that. I was hoping I could make a proper friend soon."

 _…What? What the hell?_ _'Light-kun is my first ever friend' my **ass!**_

Unless… he definitely had to know. He must have known that Light was listening in…

"Really? But he seems so..."

"Nice? Polite? I suppose, but that's how you succeed, isn't it? But never mind him. Kaji-san, would you like to go somewhere for lunch? I know a good place."

 _Okay, excuse me, wow._ **First** _of all…_

Kaji just about died right there and then, and in truth had she done so, Light really didn't see himself sleeping any the worse for it.

* * *

If there was one thing that Light Yagami had learned throughout his relatively short and recently eventful life, it was that there was absolutely no such thing as being too paranoid.

The two were sitting across from each other at a booth so conveniently unable to view the one he was sitting at. He had entered at least seven minutes after them, of course, using the back door; calculated at a specific angle so that there was no chance of being seen walking in from their position.

It was vital to always be one step ahead of the game.

 _Yes._ _That_ was why he had followed them, of course. Markedly _not_ because he was completely and utterly suspicious of that man's (no, _Ryuuzaki's;_ because could he even be considered a _man_ in the human sense of the word?) possible motives for interacting with another, _female,_ human being who was almost certainly _not_ on his level and almost certainly _not_ a Kira suspect. Just what the _hell_ was going on? Obviously, another trick from L, of course, and he'd be damned if he missed out on it.

 _No such thing as being too paranoid, Light_ mused as he glanced at his watch. _No. Such. Thing._

For the past four minutes they'd been rambling about unimportant things, but focusing on Ryuuzaki's voice again made him tune back in.

"I'm enjoying being with you like this, Kaji-san."

Wow. Did he just hear that right? Ryuuzaki was really going all out, wasn't he? What a joke.

"You're really sure you aren't friends with Yagami-kun...? You two always looked like you had an amazing connection..."

He stiffened in his seat instantly at the mention of his name, now fully attentive.

"Yes, then I guess the act I put on was successful."

Light nearly spit out his drink.

"Can I be honest with you here for a moment?" Ryuuzaki continued. "Yagami-kun... truly is very… _weird._ Now, I'm not being rude, but have you seen him sit down on a chair...? When outside of polite company, of course. He crouches like a frog. He also has an addiction to apples and eats them absolutely everywhere, at the wildest of inappropriate times. Now, that's not entirely fair, because of course he _is_ very intelligent, but I would go so far as to say that Yagami-kun does not have any friends. No - he _cannot_ have any friends, because there is simply no one else around on his level."

Kyoko sounded confused. "But you tied with him... aren't you just as smart?"

"Well, you could say we don't get along so nicely at the best of times. I truly wanted to be his friend, but I think he may be ignoring me. No, in fact, I'm positive of it. Incidentally, did you know he's absolutely terrible with women?"

_Ha! You're already breaking the first rule: talking more about yourself than her._

"That surprises me…" Kyoko made a sound like slurping, probably a drink. Light was behind them, so he couldn't see them. "Hey, Ryuuga-kun… tell me about yourself, I'm more interested in you. You're really good at tennis, and you're really smart, but that's all I know."

"Hmm… I'm not sure I'm so good at thinking of ways to describe myself. I may be smart, for example… but there are a lot of things that I have missed out on. Such as being with another person like this. This is the first time I have been on a date, Kaji-san. There's something about you that I find intriguing. Perhaps… it's that nobody usually notices me. But you did. And for that, I'm grateful."

 _'Intriguing…?'_ What, a completely ordinary girl, albeit with slightly abnormal taste in men, like her? Bull and shit. Light almost felt like laughing. This was so pointless. What exactly was L hoping to get out of this…?

…But.

But that was exactly it. What _was_ he hoping to get out of this, if he didn't actually…  _like_ her?

"I think you're really unique… and cute as well. My friend thought that Yagami-kun was better looking, but I totally disagreed. Actually, a lot of guys don't really pay attention to me either…"

"I'm paying attention to you." It… It sounded like Ryuuzaki was smiling. He was smiling. He was _smiling_ and Light couldn't _see_ it - "Would you like my cherry?"

Kyoko giggled, and the sound of biting made it clear she ate it.

It probably wasn't even all nasty and mashed, _either._

 _Well,_ _then._

They babbled on about uninteresting topics such as favourite movies and interests for a stupidly long amount of time, until finally…

'Ah. Ryuuga-kun… I have to get to my class now.' Light saw Kyoko as she got up and stood by the table with her bag. She was blushing. She looked happy. "Thank you for taking me out. I want to do this again sometime…"

"That's fine with me."

Light then saw as Kaji leaned over, opening her arms –- it was obvious she was going to –-

Ryuuzaki shuffled over. Only the very edge of him was visible as he accepted the girl's hug, a smile on his face. A smile. A normal, completely normal, _happy,_ **smile.** "Do you want my phone number? You can tell me when you're free again."

"Yes! T-thank you, Ryuu - … _H-Hideki_ -kun." They hugged again, exchanging numbers –- using the _exact same_ phone that Ryuuzaki was explicitly clear to be accessible only to Watari and Light himself, which had baffled the rest of the taskforce --

And as she left, he waved, still smiling, only his arm visible from behind the seat…

Light had no idea what to think.

On the one hand, his enemy having a more human side like this simplified things. It made it clear he wasn't as untouchable as he wanted to seem. Light took pride in the fact that a girl had never affected his feelings. He hated seeing other men reduced to complete idiots over something as base as the idea of love, which he was convinced did not exist. Especially after meeting Misa, who was so blindly devoted to him; who could be charmed with nothing but the right words and the right look.

Now, take away his appearance, replace him with someone ugly and fat and foul mouthed, and would she still be so willing to risk her life for Kira? Pathetic.

And to think that Ryuuzaki, that L could himself be a victim to this kind of shameless emotion? It was… it was disappointing. No, it was humiliating! Light had considered this man his equal; or at the very least a worthy opponent, and that included in integrity. He truly felt like he had found somebody else who could never be swayed by something such as love. He enjoyed having finally met someone he felt could actually understand him. He had respect for L, at the end of the day, and were he to forget everything he knew about being Kira, he would have been looking up to him.

And perhaps he still would; should he have recognised, no, _embraced_ Kira as a necessary force in the the world.

But this entire charade had left a taste entirely bitter in Light's mouth. Was this what Ryuuzaki tasted when he ate anything that wasn't sweet? It was disgusting. It was disgusting to think that the enemy he so respected could be so… human.

After all, only a god could hope to match a god.

Light got up and started to leave. Some part of him retained the rationality to keep in mind the fact that there was no need to jump to hasty conclusions, especially with Ryuuzaki; as there was no guarantee just yet that this was entirely genuine. He reminded himself that there was nothing, no true fact he knew about that reclusive detective. His strange mannerisms alone were enough to cast doubt upon; already enough to pull the curtain of disbelief over his character: How much was real and how much was acted?

And now this. No, there was no way to know just yet whether this was all an elaborate act. In fact, seeing as he'd found himself so quickly fooled, perhaps he would respect his enemy even more for being able to perform with such genuinity…

This wasn't over yet.

* * *

It was later that day when Light, worn out from all his lectures, found Ryuuzaki alone again. It was late, and he most likely should have been leaving soon, but he was standing by the wall with something in his hands. His phone.

"You're not getting picked up yet?"

Light walked over, casually greeting his… 'friend.' That bitterness in his mouth still wouldn't leave. He would _never_ forget that lie.

"Ah… Yagami-kun."

Ryuuzaki turned around. "I was just replying to someone… It's nothing related to the case, of course."

Light put on a good-natured, teasing grin. "I never expected you to be the type to want a girlfriend, Ryuuga. I'm surprised. Aren't you worried about getting distracted…?"

Underneath, his blood felt like it was boiling, burning up with an unbearably hot anger, worse even than the humiliation he felt at his graduation speech. He took a moment to acknowledge that this was the same, and only person in existence who could do this to him. And the thought only partially increased his fury.

To Light's surprise, Ryuuzaki closed his phone and stared directly at him. There was something in his tone that he had never heard before, making it hard to pin down.

"Sometimes, I can do things outside of the Kira case. I'm a human being too, Light-kun. There is no reason I can't have a personal life of my own. I'm going to have to ask you to please refrain from interfering."

Light… stared back, completely speechless. He could never have thought he would hear that from Ryuuzaki's mouth in a million years.

'I can't focus on only one thing twenty four seven," Ryuuzaki continued. "I overwork myself at times, and to have a chance to relax like this is something new to me. To tell you the truth, Light-kun… I've never felt the need to try and make friends with anybody. Or anything further than that. I never found anybody I was… truly interested in. But Kyoko… there's something about her that makes me happy to be around a person for once. I don't entirely understand it. I said that I was friends with you, Light-kun…"

_And you lied. Heh. That's how I know you have to be faking this whole thing, Ryuuzaki…_

_Right?_

"But this is something entirely different to me. Right now I want to enjoy being a regular person, at least while I'm on campus here. I am fully capable of balancing my work and my life. Please excuse me."

Ryuuzaki pocketed his phone and started off down the street. Odd… that he wasn't getting picked up, but who knew what was going on inside that brain of his?

This was… _pathetic._ Beyond pathetic! That girl was nowhere _near_ his level, and somehow, he managed to fall for her? A completely ordinary girl like that? How was she even the slightest **bit** deserving of his attention in any way, shape or form?

Ryuuzaki, who ignored anything that did not catch his interest.

Who disregarded people and their feelings when he deemed it necessary.

Who made the room feel empty _save for the two of them_ with the simple weight of his gaze.

And he fell for… _her._ He deprioritized his case just to spend time with her. And even stopped constantly observing his prime suspect!

 _…Heh._ There was no way that this could be real.

At all.

It was all just… It had to be a lie. It was another test. Clearly.

Light wasn't stupid. He knew that there was no chance of him actually _falling_ for this. Even if it had felt like he might for just a second. Obviously this was all a big joke. Another game.

It _had_ to be.

_Alright, Ryuuzaki. How about I join in too?_


	2. Would You Like a Jelly Baby?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So as a result of writing this I gained a new headcanon that Light absolutely despises puns... anyhow, Jelly Kira Simulator 2016 continues.
> 
> Alternate chapter title: 'When a mummy and a daddy hate each other very much..."

"Oi, Light."

Truth be told, he'd taken yesterday's peace entirely too much for granted.

"Oi, **Light!** "

...There was never much point in trying to ignore that Shinigami for too long.

Putting down the things he was busy packing his bag with, Light reluctantly turned around. "What is it, Ryuk?"

"You haven't been turning up to the investigation anymore. Has L stopped suspecting you?"

"If that had happened, Ryuk, I'd almost certainly have told you." Light sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Today, and yesterday too, he told me that I wasn't needed at the moment."

There wasn't much he could do to take advantage of this state of being unobserved by Ryuuzaki. If Kira did anything out of the ordinary right now, then it would only incriminate him further. In addition, Misa was still on that trip of hers. That was just fine, though, since it was important that the two of them weren't seen together too soon.  Light had told her the first time they met to wait a while before coming to see him a second time, but hadn't really trusted that she would listen. All in all, it was just as well for his plans _(and continued mental tranquillity)_ that she'd been called away.

But this was all Light could think of to rationalize this sudden turn in events. Ryuuzaki hadn't given any reason for it.

Unless… he was using the time for something else. That shameful charade of his.

"Light, I don't wanna sound like your mother or anything, but you're just kinda sitting there and looking really serious. You're probably gonna miss your train," Ryuk complained from where he was perched at the edge of the bed.

The Shinigami's laughter and constant munching noises had long since become background noise to Light, and his attention was only recaptured when his phone went off from inside his pocket and he checked it to see the message that had been sent. Surprisingly, it wasn't Misa. And, speaking of Ryuuzaki…

**Light-kun, when you're free today, please meet me by the tennis court. I want to talk to you about something.**

Light blinked at the message, then smirked in amusement. "So now he's paying attention to me again, huh?" he murmured to himself as he got up, preparing to leave. "Interesting. Let's see if I find my answer, Ryuk."

* * *

Somehow it was odd to see that Ryuuzaki had actually turned up like he said he would.

He felt like some kind of mirage as Light caught sight of him in the distance. Maybe he'd always been like that – it was still a strange feeling to know the detective L was something tangible, represented by a single, living, breathing human being with his deceptively simple appearance and impossibly complicated mind.

Despite the fact that his lone nature -- such vulnerability, being only one individual -- should have made him weaker in Light's mind, somehow it managed to be the complete opposite: the reality that a single person had accomplished so much and held so much power, and was standing there, still standing upright and not collapsing underneath the pressure was a constant weight that filled the air around his presence; made it just a little harder to breathe, harder to act, harder to keep it together.

And that was all before he even _looked_ at you.

Such a person; could he truly be brought down by the influence of something such as romantic feelings for a girl? Could somebody who'd seen as much as he had retain a human capacity to love in the first place?

The smile on his face when he was with Kyoko the other day returned to Light's mind. He didn't understand; he had never seen anything like it on the man's features before. But that wasn't any reason to assume; he could have been just as good of an actor as himself. But thinking of it being fake – something still tasted so rotten when he considered it that way.

Thinking of this whole thing being a farce…

Ryuuzaki said nothing as he spotted Light approaching, but reached a hand up and waved from afar.

"I wonder what this is gonna be about," Ryuk mused to himself, spectating as usual. Ignoring him, Light stopped across from Ryuuzaki, keeping his expression a careful neutral.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, Light-kun," Ryuuzaki began, placing his hands in his pockets. His head was slightly bowed, messy black hair threatening to swallow up his face as it blew in the breeze. "If I made you feel like you weren't my friend."

An apology…? That was just about the last thing he had been expecting. But it elated him as always to know that this was all part of a game as usual. Of course he'd been faking. Of course… But it had never been on these terms before. This proximity, this closeness. These terms were on personal territory, and somehow it was twice as exciting.

Naturally, it was now time to play the role of Light Yagami, Hideki Ryuuga's friend, who was upset over what had happened.

"I've always wished I could be close friends with you, since I respect you as a person," Light replied with a small smile, "so it hurt a little to hear you say something like that… But at the same time, I know that it's hard to consider somebody who you suspect as Kira to be a trusted friend." he then narrowed his eyes. "I also understand that developing personal relationships in that kind of situation is somewhat unprofessional, right?"

Ryuuzaki brought his head back up. "First of all, the amount that I suspect Light-kun is very little."

Ryuk burst out laughing, and Light almost did too. _For once I agree with you, Shinigami_.

"Second, I always considered our friendship as something separate from the case." Ryuuzaki started walking closer, closer and closer, until he stopped directly in front of him, bringing a thumb to his mouth as he glanced upward.

His eyes were fixed on Light completely, attention utterly undivided, and after being deprived of it, the feeling coursed through his body like an addict going back after suffering through withdrawals – it was almost hard to stay standing with his heart beating so frantically like this.

This was… hardly the first time he'd had his personal space invaded by Ryuuzaki. He was quite used to this by now -- so why, _how_ , was he suddenly feeling this way…? Light had no time to think right now.

"The truth is that I do not consider Light-kun to be the kind of person to lie about his feelings towards someone. Even if he could be Kira, I think that he would not lie about his friendship with me… L is not Kira's enemy for personal reasons."

This… Ryuuzaki was upping the stakes of this game. Their act as 'friends'…

"I want to ask you to forgive me…" Ryuuzaki turned himself towards the tennis court beside them. "If possible, I would like to play tennis with you again today."

Fake or not, the pretense of L figuratively grovelling at his feet like this was admittedly an appealing one. But would accepting be the correct course of action?

"Sure, Ryuuga. If it would help you feel like you can make things up to me…"

"Sounding real spiteful there, Light-o." Ryuk snickered.

Light turned away, looking over his shoulder at the other as he walked off and waved goodbye. "Well, then… I'll meet you for a game later. I was looking forward to playing again, Ryuuga," he chuckled. "Maybe this time you'll win."

He'd play with Ryuuzaki, certainly, but there was more than one game being offered to him here, and he knew already which one he'd prefer to accept.

* * *

"Yagami! Hey, get over here! Is it really true? You guys are gonna play another game?"

Light grinned to himself as he looked around at the excited faces of the tennis club; they were practically swarming him. According to Ryuuzaki, he would be here in just under twenty minutes to play their game.

"Hmm… actually, I'm not sure how to put this. I'm sorry, I don't think I'm going to be able to do it," Light sighed in false resignation with a shrug. "I agreed to play with Ryuuga, but… I just remembered that there was… someone I wanted to spend time with instead right now."

"Huh...?" Everyone visibly deflated, disappointed.

"Oh, but of course, I'll be back… I wouldn't want to keep him _waiting._ If Ryuuga shows up, can you tell him that? I don't want him to get the wrong idea."

With that, he turned, typing up a quick text to somebody and hitting 'send', leaving a crowd of confused faces in his wake.

* * *

"Yagami-kun, you wanted to borrow my notes?" Takada questioned Light as she followed him down the hall, raising an eyebrow.

"That's right," he replied smoothly, "There's nothing important I need to be doing. How about we go to the library? It'll be quieter there, so we can talk alone."

As Light walked, he glanced at his watch. Ryuuzaki could normally be found sitting in the library reading when not eating ice cream or stalking his suspect's every move. But right now, he was probably waiting alone on the tennis court in confusion… Heh, he'd probably find some way to make it increase that Kira percentage, too.

Light chose a place next to a window as they sat down across from each other at a table and looked out at the court. Everybody was still waiting there, just like he expected…

He searched for the telltale white of Ryuuzaki's shirt, but couldn't find it. Confused, Light frowned and looked more carefully, but…

"Yagami-kun? Here they are."

Quickly he turned back to Takada, nodding in thanks and accepting her notes, getting out a pencil. The same one he liked to write all his names using, actually. It was a good pencil. Sometimes he considered it his only friend in this rotten world; certainly a better friend than _other people_ had shown themselves to be. "I'll copy them down."

"You're missing your game, hmm?" Takada pointed out, resting her chin on her hands gracefully. "Everybody was so excited when they heard about it. I wonder why that might be."

"Studying is more important than doing something for fun, of course."

The corner of her mouth quirked. "Oh? Even the perfect Yagami-kun who passed with flying colours still needs to study?"

Patience was not something Light had in abundance - it was a precious thing and he currently had very little of it to spare for Takada right now; not with his worry from earlier still hounding him, swarming at the back of his mind like an annoying fly. The window was still there. Just right there. He needed to -

Light was relieved when his phone buzzed in his pocket, giving him an instant excuse. "Sorry, excuse me for a second."

**Light-kun, something came up. I can't play with you today. I'm sorry.**

"He did the same thing as you, Light! Hah!"

Light had to stop himself from elbowing Ryuk away from how close he was over his shoulder to the phone screen. Being snuck up on by a Shinigami, or maybe just Ryuk, was something that never entirely stopped being unsettling. Definitely the creepy fish eyes. And people wondered why he wasn't sleeping well at night all of a sudden. Hmm. They should try waking up to _that_ in the middle of the night - apparently a Shinigami's idea of fun was poking you at two in the morning just to see how you react. And then after that, sneaking as close as possible when you're asleep to see when you'll eventually notice.

And then came rearranging the furniture...

Stiffening in his seat, Light held back a scowl as he flipped his phone closed.

"Who was it?" Takada asked, tone slightly lowered. She was trying far too hard not to seem as interested as she obviously was. Ignoring her, Light tore his gaze to the window again, and this time, he saw it.

Spotted him by his shirt. Ryuuzaki, standing with somebody else on the other side of campus –

Somebody else.

Ryuuzaki and Kyoko were standing together, talking about something. It was impossible to hear them, but it was plain to see how they were laughing and… and smiling. Ryuuzaki was smiling again. Dropping his guard so shamelessly.

The second he spotted them, Light felt like his body had set on fire.

Still smiling, smiling at Ryuuzaki, Kaji was moving closer to him, opening her arms, and he was returning the gesture, meeting her halfway.

They hugged for… exactly one minute and twelve point three seconds. When it was finally over and they parted, Kaji stayed there with her arms still around Ryuuzaki, then placed them on his shoulders.

He placed his on her waist.

And she stood up on her tiptoes, meeting his height, and Light knew already what was going to happen as she started leaning in, and -

With every second she got closer, Light's heart beat faster and faster, his blood boiled hotter and hotter. His eyes felt like they were searing over, burning bright red with the sheer…

The…

 **This;** whatever this disgusting feeling was.

It was hateful and spiteful.

It was painful and aching.

It was destructive and violent.

It was selfish and possessive.

And it was so completely all-consuming as to feel like a thick pitch leaking and oozing from every orifice in his body; like the blood his veins beat with had been replaced.

Light couldn't describe it. He had never felt this way before in his entire life.

Growling low in his throat, he tore his eyes away and shut them tightly, but that image was burned into them.

He hadn't even had the stomach to look. He was too much of a coward to even –

"…Are you okay, Yagami-kun? You seem like something's the matter." Takada's voice managed to pull him back and ground him in reality.

"She's right, you look _really_ pissed off."

" _Shut up, Ryu_ –"

Light quickly cut himself off and acted like nothing had happened. He'd never slipped up like that. Never, in front of anybody. "…I'm fine."

Takada paused for a moment, likely deliberating whether or not to be offended, before lowering her eyelids again and returning to that condescending tone from earlier. The one she used when she liked to act like she had you all figured out. "You were angry about something." She made a small, almost-inaudible chuckle. "I've never seen you get like that. You must keep it all inside when you don't want others to see, hmm?"

Light returned with a condescending smile of his own, mimicking her posture. "Sometimes small things can be upsetting."

"Upsetting enough to make you forget yourself for a moment?"

"Something like that."

Takada had her pencil to her lips, tapping it against them thoughtfully as she looked back down at her work.

Lips. Ryuuzaki's lips, taken by those of that girl.

Ryuuzaki's lips.

Did they taste like sugar? Did they taste like lies?

Did they _have_ a taste? Did she get to find out? Did he _let_ her?

Did he want it? Did he _return_ it? Did he want to do it again? Did he want to do it again after that? And _that_ , and _that,_ and _that?_

Would he rather be kissing her than working on the Kira case?

What was he doing?

What was he _doing_?!

And _how_ \- how _dare_ he think he had the _right_?

The right to make him feel like this - make him **_feel_** \- such a burning and incomprehensible shame!

It… this was…

An elation and a humiliation that was impossible to understand, and in that moment, Light hated Ryuuzaki, _hated_ him, more than anything for it.

He couldn't breathe. -- it was like he was a joke. _Like Kira_ was a joke!

He wasn't some kind of harmless toy to be thrown away when he stopped being interesting. L could be _fulfilled_ like this? Case after case and only now does he up the stakes; play on an equal field and risk his life; he didn't sleep, for god's sake, because he was always working, always paranoid, just as paranoid as himself, Kira fueled him just as much as that damn sugar he was so obsessed with – and he had the gall to pretend something like this was all he needed to be happy?

In any case, he was still so conflicted. Part of him wanted to refuse it all. To pretend this had never happened. To pretend this wasn't L at all. Go back to his initial suspicions, doubts, of Ryuuzaki's true identity. But there was almost no doubt… He was too invested, he was too determined already… The connection they had formed said that there could be no other conclusion.

If this was a trick, it didn't matter. He didn't care. He wasn't about to watch, **let** his rival sink so fucking low… No matter what tarnishing it had already undergone at his own hands, honour remained an element in this competition between them that Light wasn't ready to cut off just yet.

This couldn't go on any longer. He wasn't going to let it.

 _How dare you think you can make me feel this way without an ounce of shame. I'll show you that shame, L. You're_ my _enemy, only mine, don't you forget it._

And he wouldn't be satisfied until he dragged it screaming out of L's throat himself.


	3. Single Future God Seeks Worthy Adversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is maybe 4k of very heavy-handed smut. er... I tried.
> 
> Alright so the actual smut is probably less than 1k. The rest of it is just really, really gay. But so is Light, so it just happens naturally.
> 
> L really spits out his cake wrappers, people. At least, in the manga. For the longest time I'd thought he just straight up ate them until I noticed the panel where he spits it out...

_L caught Kyoko's shoulders and held her in place before anything could happen, eyes wide open. There was no way around this. He just felt too uncomfortable to go along with it._

_He actually didn't say anything, for a while, and Kyoko was just confused, but got the message, blushing in embarrassment and pulling back. L released her shoulders but still remained frozen in place._

_"…Sorry," he eventually decided._

_"It's okay." Kyoko smiled shyly. "Uh, Hideki-kun…"_

_"Yes?"_

_"…Do you really want to go out with me?"_

_L blinked._

_"I admit I'm not sure if I'm entirely ready… I… suppose." Despite himself, his face had actually heated up. "Is that okay with you?"_

_Somehow, L wasn't ready to lie to such an extent. Kyoko was nice, she was genuine and for some reason she cared, and under normal circumstances, he would not have minded kissing her. She was a sweet girl, he had found, and certainly didn't deserve this. (Also, it just so might have been his first ever kiss and the world's three greatest detectives were_ allowed _to be a little nervous over that, damn it)_

_He had never done anything like this before – dating, hugging, hell, just going outside long enough to meet someone at all was a recent turnover in his life thanks to this case. And in a way he had grown to appreciate doing these things as if he was a normal person. He was thankful to Kyoko for her kindness, but he did not have feelings for her, and she deserved someone who wasn't lying to her in order to make a notorious serial killer jealous._

_It had been suspicious from the second L saw Light constantly looking at him as she went over to talk to him, but as with everything, evidence was needed to prove a theory, and his decision to take Kyoko on a date had been made both out of boredom and the chance to see what his suspect's reaction would be. Light had thought he was being sneaky in the booth behind theirs but he'd had to speak to the waitress to order and gave away his unsavoury stalking tendencies._

_Not that they hadn't been given away in the first place when he'd been unsubtly trying to monitor him while pretending to be talking with that group of friends, anyway -- at least_ L _had something of a professional excuse to stalk people. ('Something' being the operative word here.)_

_To his surprise and relief, after replying to Kyoko, she smiled at him and nodded in understanding. "I could tell that you might not really want to do this. Actually…" she laughed and looked away shyly. "This guy in one of my classes who I used to be friends with back in high school started talking to me again… I had a really big crush on him, and I think I kind of…"_

_L nodded back. "I understand."_

_"I wanted to see just now if I liked you more, but… I think it's clear you're not really ready. I hope you can find someone else to make you really happy, Hideki-kun."_

Entertained? Yes. _Happy?_ Hmm. We won't be holding our breath for that one.

_Kyoko balanced up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, and he felt a sudden warmth flood him and freeze his body at the same time._

_Blinking a little in disbelief, L brought a hand up to his cheek where it had been touched and smiled back. "…Thank you, I...guess."_

* * *

"You're sure taking your time getting ready, Light-o."

Stupid Shinigami. It wasn't Light's fault Ryuk _(much like Ryuuzaki)_ was apparently incapable of grasping the concept that humans couldn't just roll out of bed and expect to be taken seriously in a professional setting.

What seemed to really boggle that questionably-sized brain of his the most, however, was the idea of having to take off one set of clothes and replace them with another one. It then completely threw him for a loop when he learned that you couldn't just throw on _any_ new set of clothes, you had to make sure they looked _good_ with each other, to… what end, exactly? The Human King would turn you into dust? You'd never get to eat apples again?

Light had once tried to explain this situation as delicately as possible.

_'Imagine that humans only get to eat apples, Ryuk, if they please the arbitrary whims of other, more important humans. If you go around looking like an idiot, other humans will start to talk about how you shouldn't be getting any more apples, and soon their influence reaches those more important humans, who then decide they don't want to give you apples because you'll make them look bad.'_

_'Alright. I don't really get it, but will you stop giving me apples if you think I look stupid?'_

Needless to say, he wasn't planning on trying again.

While in the middle of making sure nothing was out of place as he looked in the mirror ( _Dressed to kill, so the saying went_ ), Ryuk prodded Light in the back and he nearly fell forward, only just stopping himself from snapping at the Shinigami crowing in his face. "Hey, did something happen between you guys that I missed the other day? You're kinda acting like you had a bad breakup."

Light almost scoffed. He had to double-take just to make sure that was what Ryuk had really just said. _Seriously?_ "I don't know what humans _you've_ been watching, Ryuk, but that's just about the most ignorant thing I've ever heard. This isn't _nearly_ something so... _childish._ "

"Well, if you say so, Light-o…" Ryuk mumbled under his breath with a slight snicker. "…But those _are_ sweets in your bag right there."

"In case he doesn't talk, of course," Light returned a little too quickly, then cooled his tone, ignoring the slight burning at the back of his neck. "I don't see why you've decided you're some sort of expert on human behaviour all of a sudden."

Ryuk scratched his head. "Hmm? Human behaviour?"

Light closed his bag and casually leaned against his desk, folding his arms. "You see, Ryuk, it's psychological fact that offering to share food with somebody makes them more open with you, even if it's a complete stranger."

"Oh, how interesting. I sure like you a lot more when you give me apples."

"Exactly." _Now,_ _I hope I got the kind of cakes he likes the most. I chose tea-cakes because he always drops them in his mouth at once and spits the wrappers out afterwards. It's actually disgusting, but at the same time, kind of funny to watch…_

Light headed to leave once he was happy that everything was in order, grinning to himself.

He was going to turn up whether Ryuuzaki wanted him there or not. Despite the fact that his sudden appearance could be used against him to claim that he wanted to observe what was going on in the Kira case when he had explicitly been barred, he would be ready with an arsenal of excuses as usual, helped along by his father's and the task force's natural distrust of L.

But no matter what happened, in the end at least things were sure to be entertaining for the Shinigami cackling behind him every step of the way.

... _And_ she _never got him cake, anyway. It was obviously never going to work out._

* * *

Ryuuzaki was alone in the hotel room, sitting hunched up in his usual chair. Even Watari was nowhere to be seen, though that didn't necessarily mean he wasn't there - the man had a way of appearing from the shadows when least expected, much like an old ninja master. In any case, the fact that the other was currently busy dipping his fingers into the cream topping a custard and jelly trifle most likely meant his custodian wasn't far as always. Hopefully, though, they'd be able to talk without any unnecessary interruptions.

Ryuk decided to sit on the ceiling upside-down to watch -- thankfully a place that wouldn't cause too much distraction as long as he kept his oversized mouth shut.

"I hope you don't mind me showing up like this, Ryuuzaki," Light greeted somewhat awkwardly as he entered the latest hotel room to be named their task force base of operations.

Smiling patiently, he stood there and waited for the other to motion for him to sit down, and he waited for a good three minutes and twelve seconds, but... it never came. In fact, Ryuuzaki might as well have been speaking to the cherry topping the damn trifle he was so focused on as he eventually seemed to notice another human being had entered the room, despite having unlocked the door for him only five minutes prior.

"No, I understand," came the lazy reply at last, Ryuuzaki licking another puff of whipped cream off his finger, "Light-kun feels like I must be mocking him because of my cancellation yesterday."

Still standing, Light's patient smile was beginning to strain. "You'll have to forgive me if I feel that way, Ryuuzaki," he returned, "And you'll also have to forgive me if I question your dedication to catching Kira right now."

"Hmm?"

Light narrowed his eyes and folded his arms. "It's like you've stopped caring, and it's hard for me to still respect you as L."

Ryuuzaki's eyes remained fixed on the trifle for the next five minutes as if to throw those words back in Light's face completely. After this close deliberation, he stuck another finger into the cream, once again licking it off.

"Okay," he said.

Though infuriated, Light was still determined to knock his opponent down. He walked closer, standing by the back of the chair and casually folding his arms on top of it. All he could see was the other's back, the messy black hair touching the top of his shoulder blades. "You don't deny that you're wasting your time, Ryuuzaki?"

"By spending it how I want to?"

"That's a lie."

Ryuuzaki glanced over his shoulder and those black eyes flicked up to his, finally, _finally,_ and Light felt that rush again all over his body; almost could have sworn his heart stopped beating in his chest for just that one second – the sheer irony was not lost and it only made him hate the other even more for it.

"I'm lying?" Ryuuzaki blinked. "That's what you think?"

Light leaned forward a little, returning that gaze just as intensely. "It's what I just said, wasn't it?"

Ryuuzaki turned away, fingertip now circling the cherry topping his trifle. He prodded the glazed fruit once, twice, the thumb of his other hand pressed to his lips as he spoke. "The initial assessment of immaturity I made regarding Kira's character was supported both by the original times of the killings, matching that of a student," he stopped prodding for a moment, pausing and glancing back over briefly, "and the response from Kira in reaction to this assessment. In my mind, Kira is somebody whom such childish feelings as jealousy would fit very closely."

Jealousy?

Jealous. He was, of all things _..._ _jealous?_

Jealous. _Him._

Of… _what,_ exactly? A girl who got to spend more time with Ryuuzaki than he did? Who didn't even know the slightest thing about his true identity? Who got to do things such as laugh with and hold and touch and kiss Ryuuzaki, whenever she wanted? To talk with him about anything she wanted, and not have to worry about constantly maintaining the facade of friendship around him?

In order to be 'jealous', he'd have to want to be the one who got to do these things instead, which was of course just about as completely absurd as the idea of willingly impregnating Misa Amane.

He would have to be _friends_ with Ryuuzaki to be _jealous_. He would have to _care about_ Ryuuzaki. He would have to not need to _kill_ Ryuuzaki in order to steal his title and become completely invincible.

…Even if sometimes he wished he didn't have to.

Even if right now, as Ryuuzaki's eyes drifted back to his own again, shining with such brilliance as always, he wished he didn't have to…

Light tried not to gag as that disgusting feeling, that sensation of slowly boiling alive slid through his veins as if possessing his body, forcing him to try to keep calm in any way possible. Why now? Why couldn't he understand why he kept feeling like this? Ryuuzaki was still there, still looking - _He'll see,_ _he'll see if you don't – Ryuuzaki will_ see _, you can't let him see your guard drop even for a second -_

"So this was all another plan to try and profile me?" Light returned distastefully, aware his breathing was quickening. "I should have guessed, Ryuuzaki. _You're_ the childish one, doing something like that." He allowed himself a smirk and added, "I knew you'd never _really_ fall for a girl so far below your level, after all."

Ryuuzaki's eyes suddenly gleamed with something that stirred Light's stomach uncomfortably, almost making him cross his legs -- " _That's_ what Light-kun wasn't happy with?"

"...I was just surprised, of course."

Ryuuzaki's attention returned to his trifle. While it seemed he had no interest in actually eating with a spoon for some reason, nobody was signing a petition for complaint. In fact, if he would eat _all_ of it like that… "Light-kun not only chooses to spend time with many girls who are hardly a match for him too, but more than often appears to enjoy himself doing so."

Light laughed, "I thought your observation skills were better than that. You can't see how I don't stay with them for long? It's more than obvious I'm not interested."

"Hmm." There was a pause for a little while from Ryuuzaki as he thought to himself, looking up at the ceiling and nibbling at his thumb, which Light now somehow found he _was_ complaining about. "I understand I've not really been around as a friend, and if because of that I've upset you or made you a little jealous, Light-kun, I apologize."

It didn't matter what Ryuuzaki said to try and cover this up. He was going to get the truth out, one way or another. He wasn't going to leave this place until he got exactly what he wanted.

Light stepped slowly from the back of the chair to the side and leveled himself with the other as he spoke, "Don't even _pretend_ you were interested in her, Ryuuzaki. You were just trying to profile me."

Turning back to face him, Ryuuzaki swiped up another puff of cream and licked it from his fingers. "Light-kun is very insistent that my attention be his, it seems."

Light spat, "Am I no longer your suspect?"

"That's true." Ryuuzaki leaned in a little. "So, Light-kun insists I find somebody on my own level?"

He opened his mouth, but no words would come out. That boiling heat was spreading. Light didn't understand, he didn't know what to do - if he didn't figure out what this was, if he didn't find how to stop it, he felt like it would completely consume him --

"I…"

Ryuuzaki smiled a rare smile. "I understand we're friends, after all."

Light almost laughed, gripping the armrest tightly as he bit back frustration. " _Friends._ You keep saying that, Ryuuzaki. Did you forget about when you claimed I don't have any friends? That I can't have any? I knew you were talking about yourself."

Ryuuzaki infuriatingly turned away again, deciding to now return his attention to the cherry he'd ignored. Picking it up between two of his fingers, he brought it close to his face and inspected it carefully. "So, then – if not a friend, what do you want me to be? I'd say the one acting like he's obsessively in love is _you,_ Light-kun."

Light barely registered Ryuk's sudden obnoxious snort as he froze in his place.

Slowly, he leaned over the edge of the seat towards the other, who was eyeing him carefully as he toyed with the idea of eating the cherry at the same time.

"Is that what you think, Ryuuzaki?"

They'd done enough bullshitting with each other's words by now. There was only one way out of this. There was only one way Light was going to get his point across. Darting forward, he left Ryuuzaki no chance to think as he stole the cherry from his fingers with his mouth.

_To win, you have to attack._

There was a _crash_ as Ryuk fell hollering from the ceiling. "Oh man, Light! I feel like I'm watching one of your sister's dramas, but in real life! Hey, are you gonna keep this PG rated?"

It was easy to ignore that annoying Shinigami as he took in Ryuuzaki's widened, unblinking eyes, the sudden stillness of his chest, the way his throat trembled as Light slowly ate the cherry right in front of him, their faces inches apart.

The initial surprise quickly faded from Ryuuzaki's expression and he frowned. "That was rude of you."

"The first one you gave me was squashed," Light teased, "that was hardly fair."

Ryuuzaki hummed disagreeably, dipping another finger into his trifle and swiping up the very last of the cream. Light's eyes were drawn downwards as the tip disappeared into his mouth, tongue flicking out to lick it up. His breath caught as he realised he was staring; as he remembered what he felt as he watched that girl claim those lips now so close in front of him, and when he'd wondered so curiously what exactly they would taste like…

That sudden, overwhelming _possessiveness._

It hit him all at once what it was that he wanted, and had since the beginning of all this nonsense.

"Oh man, are you actually getting serious about this? Hey, Light! Are you gonna do the gross human face eating thing on him? Do it, it'll be hilarious!"

_You don't need to tell me twice, Ryuk._

In one swift movement Light grabbed Ryuuzaki by the front of his shirt and seated himself between his raised legs, feeling his skinny body hit the back of the chair as he forced their mouths together, the trifle dropping and hitting the ground unceremoniously.

 _This isn't 'love', L. That's where every idiot messes up. This isn't anything_ close _to 'love'. This is me knocking some_ sense _into you._

This was just the next stage of their game. This was all part of the role he was playing…

…If, right now, Light could even _remember_ what role he was supposed to be playing.

Those black eyes remained open, as did his own, every step of the way. Neither willing to back down, to stop observing the other; neither willing to miss a chance to catch even the slightest glimpse of weakness.

_Ryuuzaki tastes… unsurprisingly, like cream. What did he taste like when she kissed him? I need to know._

_I need to find them all out. Every taste of Ryuuzaki's… every day, every hour, every minute… Would I find out what he's thinking? As if that could actually happen…_

Neither could back down, but neither could give in. Even as they broke for air, panting and gasping, they'd pull back in and smash their lips together at the same time, not a second before the other. It was another competition between them and neither intended to lose.

_This isn't 'love.' You're completely wrong._

Grabbing Ryuuzaki's hair to deepen the kiss and slamming him into the chair, Light was matched by surprisingly strong legs wrapping tightly around him, preventing escape.

 _...But would I be acting like that kind of idiot right now if this_ wasn't –-

As they broke again Ryuuzaki's eyes were half-lidded and desperately trying to retain focus, but so were Light's as he took in the bruises he'd made on the lips he'd finally claimed. Ryuuzaki was still holding him in place - as _if_ he'd ever even consider backing out in the first place.

Light was still reeling over the fact that Ryuuzaki had kissed him back, telling him what he'd suspected all along. That he'd _planned_ this, _all_ of this, every last smile and laugh and lie – all a game, it was all just a game, a test, a platform for his suspicions, just like always. Nothing more.

 _It means you only wanted_ **me.** _You've just admitted that, Ryuuzaki, even if you're not saying it. Only I'm good enough for you. Only I can hope to match you. Only_ I _can hope to_ win _against you._

But it _incensed_ him beyond belief that at the same time it meant Ryuuzaki knew the way he'd made him feel, the way he could _make_ him feel, and had held it over him from the very beginning.

It only made Light kiss him harder, desperate for a reaction but denied to receive one –- he forced Ryuuzaki's head back and traced his throat with his tongue, feeling not even the slightest twitch as he bit down hard over his pulse point. L was silent and impassive as always, standing tall beside Light who was a crumbling mess of his usual self and _mocking_ him. It was like everything inside him had finally burst and started bleeding everywhere out into the open, in front of the one person he least needed to see it –- Ryuuzaki had done this to him and was still doing it, and now Light was going to find out how to make him come crashing down just the same.

"Is there nothing you can say when I'm finally this close to you, Ryuuzaki…?" Light pulled the other onto his lap and gazed up at those unreadable eyes from below. Ryuuzaki was nibbling at a thumb as if poring over evidence, reaching out to rest a slender hand on one of his shoulders.

So _close_. He literally had Ryuuzaki, had _L_ in his grasp - alive and breathing and _his._ No one else's.

Placing a hand on top of the pale one on his shoulder and squeezing it slightly, Light let a thumb brush against the other's wrist and felt the faint thrumming against his touch.

 _Kira_ was so close. _Dangerously_ close. That quickening rhythm…

"You can be as quiet as you want," Light chuckled softly into Ryuuzaki's ear, "but your body can easily tell me the truth." There was no point in trying to hide his interest like this. Light held down Ryuuzaki's hips firmly, feeling the evidence pressing against him. "Not just _this,_ either."

Keeping his eyes fixed on Ryuuzaki's, Light slowly fitted their bodies together, pulling him closer with an arm around his lower back and waited until he could feel it.

That same faint thumping, picking up in pace with every passing second.

It was all that kept L moving in this game. So simple, so fragile. Pumping that over-sugared blood around his body, most likely struggling not to get diabetes. It could _stop_ , just like that, and his enemy would fall down.

And he alone, _Kira_ alone had the power to do that. But the one thing necessary for it was still unknown to him.

So much of Ryuuzaki was still unknown to him. He was _human,_ at least that much was obvious now, and still no matter how hard Light tried, he could never truly know what was going on inside that head of his.

...But as he felt the beating grow faster and faster against his chest, smirking into the other's neck, he could certainly _guess._

Arms wrapped around Light's waist with deceptive tenderness, dark hair brushing his jaw as Ryuuzaki rested his chin on his shoulder and murmured, "I can feel _your_ heart, too."

And Ryuk chose this moment to burst into laughter and crow out, "You know I'm still gonna be the one to kill you, right, Light?"

He had to stop himself from scowling openly – _stupid Shinigami, I already know that. You_ told _me. And I don't_ care _._

_If I die in the end…_

Light's hand began making its way underneath Ryuuzaki's thin white shirt, smoothing across sweat-dampened skin. He could feel the tense muscles moving against his fingers as he searched, pulling his head back so he could rest their foreheads together and watch those eyes fight and ultimately _lose_.

 _…Then that's when I'll join_ you, _L, all that time after my victory._

This heartbeat was an unfathomably precious thing. Because of the flawed jewel it was keeping alive…

And Light wanted to feel it. Hear it. Needed to.

His prize lay underneath that white chest, separated from him by nothing but skin and bone. Breathing against it hotly, Light leaned over the smooth plane, hand drawing closer - and he took a finger and traced a circle around Ryuuzaki's heart.

A target, just for him.

 _Only_ for him.

And wonderfully, he felt the slightest twitch underneath as he did, the slightest shiver, the spasming of Ryuuzaki's muscles as he drew in a shaky breath, eyes widening.

"Uh, by the way, this is getting weird and I don't want to feel like a pervert, so I think I'll give you guys some alone time…"

Then he pressed back down, trailing kisses down to the center of that beating rhythm, dragging another shallow string of breaths from Ryuuzaki. Feeling it pulse against his mouth; his enemy's weakness, his humanity, the territory sought out by him as Kira since the beginning of this game of theirs, it was nearly too much. A possessive surge suddenly gripped Light, overwhelming him with the urge to mark - _he had to claim Ryuuzaki's heart so that nobody else could_ \- and he bit down, bruising the delicate white skin with his lips and teeth.

"Mm –!"

His body coursed with heat at the sudden whimper drawn out of Ryuuzaki. Light pulled back up to see the beautifully blossoming mark left there, Ryuuzaki's frantic eyes staring back at him, seeing through his soul.

That sound was as good a victory as any. _Finally –_ he finally made Ryuuzaki react. Drinking in the reaction, Light smirked and lowered his head again, pulling up more of his shirt. Rolling a nipple between his lips, he was rewarded with another spasm as he abused it with his tongue - Ryuuzaki's breaths were quickening, encouraging Light to move faster at the same time, feeling the racing heartbeat underneath his palm.

Drawing away, Light gazed into Ryuuzaki's eyes; glittering and glazed over with lust, the tips of his ears flushed red, which the God of the New World wasn't supposed to be finding cute right now but he did and _fuck, why does everything about you just make me hate you even more? I don't even know your name! I don't know what to yell at you to tell you how much you piss me off!_

There was the barest hint of a smirk on his lips and it was all it took not to grab him over and find out what that smugness tasted like.

_'I can see you, Kira.'_

It was all over his face - but Light needed to hear more of that low voice of his, needed to make it scream those words out loud.

He flipped Ryuuzaki round, keeping him steadied with his hands and grinding him into his lap. He gasped sharply as Light grabbed his hair and yanked his head back to see his face, shakily reaching out for the back of the chair to hold on to.

"Hmm. Seems you like that."

Light slid his other hand down between Ryuuzaki's legs, making him double over and arch against him, thrusting into it. He couldn't help but smirk as he felt how hard Ryuuzaki was straining against his jeans, wondering whether he deserved to be relieved just yet. After all, he had to get his revenge for all this somehow.

A low moan slipped from Ryuuzaki as Light pressed him into the chair, letting him roll his hips to meet his own movements in time, and he lost his resolve far too soon – Light quickly unzipped him, dimly noting _so he does wear underwear_ and storing away the trivia to some useless corner of his brain.

"Li-Light…" Ryuuzaki was panting, glancing sideways at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

_Kira and L. People like them could never simply be 'friends'. Isn't that right?_

Ryuuzaki moaned into his mouth as Light claimed his lips again in another, ill-angled kiss. He'd never tasted sweeter.

_It has to be more. More than that._

Fingers tugged at his hair, trying to pull him off but he knew what to do to make the other give in at his hands and sure enough Ryuuzaki completely melted against him, curled into himself and left gasping for breath; Light was relentless and any more attempts at speaking caught in his throat, becoming soft moans and hums.

 _Maybe we're not friends, but maybe we don't need to be. Maybe you wanted_ this _instead, Ryuuzaki._

"- Mh... Light! Light…! Hah…"

Ryuuzaki's body was almost limp; he was collapsed against the back of the chair for support. A shaking hand held Light's wrist and made him stop what he was doing.

"…Light." Ryuuzaki's tone was flat. "Turn me over. I don't want to get anything on the hotel furniture. And if I did, I'd make you clean it up."

Light huffed and rolled his eyes but did as he was asked, turning Ryuuzaki back over, letting him wrap his legs around his body to hold on again. Ryuuzaki's pale face was almost entirely flushed now, hair even more of a mess than usual. Light could feel his heart racing underneath his skin again as he kissed his pulse points one by one, leaving mark after identical mark over each of them.

But Ryuuzaki's hands soon pulled Light back up to face him and – he found himself dumbstruck as he saw Ryuuzaki was… _smiling,_ not smirking, not taunting, just –

 _Just like he smiled for her, but for me, all for_ me _this time –_

Breathing shakily, Light leaned in and rested their foreheads together, brushing a thumb across the edge of Ryuuzaki's lips before taking them again with his own. This kiss felt different somehow; it was slower, softer – he realised he'd let his eyes close this time and didn't care; somehow, they'd... stopped fighting. Stopped trying to observe each other, at least for now.

_If I wasn't an idiot...  
_

But it was even better than before now that he could lose himself like this, and as Ryuuzaki's hands moved from his shoulders down to his lower back and massaged circles there, it was like the poisonous heat in his blood had been flushed out completely. There was only a pleasant warmth rushing in waves through his body, spreading from wherever those long fingers touched.

 _I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. But Ryuuzaki is_ mine _–-_

As they moved together that burning sensation was building up, tightening in his stomach, all thoughts of winning melted away as the only thing that registered was how good Ryuuzaki felt against him, and –-

_Mine, L. You're mine. Do you understand that?_

"Light!"

Ryuuzaki arched up, holding on tightly as he gasped the name, their hearts beating frantically together as they clung so close for a moment it felt like they wouldn't come apart.

Panting as his body began to finally cool down, Light remained slumped against the other's skinny frame in a daze. His mind felt like mush; all he could remember was Ryuuzaki calling his name just like he'd wanted to hear, repeating it over and over in his memory, and managed to hide an illegally smug grin. Maybe for a few moments there he'd stopped caring about who won, but it came back to him now that _he_ had, he _won,_ he won against L –-

Buzzing. No, a sound –- a… ringtone?

"Ah. I have to take this." Ryuuzaki shifted underneath him, breathing and tone now returning to normal as he spoke. It was as if they'd just been having a casual talk about the weather or his chances of being a serial killer.

Light began to regain his senses and sat back up, running a hand through his dampened hair and staring through blurry vision at the other as he answered his call.

"Yes, hello."

…What if it was Kaji? He _did_ give her his real phone number, after all. The thought of somebody distracting _his_ Ryuuzaki, _his_ L again pissed Light off and he started placing kisses up his neck, rubbing circles at the base of his nape, feeling Ryuuzaki shiver, and smirked triumphantly.

"…Oh. I see."

Ryuuzaki promptly flipped the phone closed and got up, looking around at all the mess. He narrowed his eyes at the stains on the chair. Light got up too, awkwardly trying to get himself back into a presentable state. He was going to have to clean up somehow...

"Alright, the investigation is resumed."

Light quickly dropped whatever he'd been thinking about and stared at Ryuuzaki like he'd just grown another head. He looked somewhat... amused, nibbling at his thumb as he continued.

"Looks like this little waste of time is finally over. Thank you for entertaining me for its duration, Light-kun. This was much more fun than tennis."

* * *

_And that was how L Lawliet missed out on some perfectly good tea cakes.  
_


	4. Final: The In-laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of an epilogue! I hope the tone's not too different to the rest of the fic. It looks that way for some reason. I might add a bonus chapter after this one. But for now, this is the end. (overprotective dad watari... pfff)

L Lawliet had really never been the most responsible of children. Not that as an adult, of course, he was any more so, but that was another matter entirely.

For as long as Watari could remember, he had always been one to place his mind before his body, content to sit alone in the middle of disorganized towers of wires and monitors, absorbing information and feeding his ever-curious, brilliant mind. He ate in the same way a battery recharged; to keep itself alive - at first. Having developed an uncontrollable sweet tooth, the act of eating seemed to become half of the thinking process. But even then, in a physical sense those were the ends of L's concerns.

The reasons for deciding to wear only the same clothing every day were much more unclear, but it had always been plain to see that the boy was very used to almost-mechanical routine. Learning, growing, solving puzzles, winning them. And even as a detective, that process hadn't changed one bit. Efficiency was certainly a factor, too, as when confronted with other articles of clothing, he would throw them on with no sense of coordination if forced to choose them himself, or simply wear what was given if they were chosen for him - with the sole exception of stubbornly refusing socks, one of the many reasons he would so rarely venture outside in his younger days.

Indeed, it had always been necessary for somebody to watch over him so that he could continue to function this way.

 _...You leave him for_ _**three** days._

Watari sighed deeply as he made his way across the room towards a closed case hanging on the wall, rubbing at his temples. When he was stressed, he found it always helped to concentrate on something else.

He unlatched the case and carefully removed his favourite sniper rifle.

Such a beautiful piece of weaponry required regular cleaning and maintenance, of course. And why miss an opportunity to do so right now? There was no telling how soon it would be needed, after all.

This rifle had seen its fair share of action in its time, but now it mainly saw use in taking down confirmed enemies of L. For over sixteen years, it had remained his most faithful partner next to his ward himself. Where L had often been difficult, refusing to adhere to his bedtime until given jelly beans, the Remington Model 700 remained simple and ever-willing to cooperate. The one possession of his that he would never allow the child, or anyone for that matter, to touch.

Although it was now obvious L was a child no longer, judging... by the indecent sounds coming from the bedroom next door.

_Three days. You leave him for **three** days. And here I'd thought the worst he could have done was relive his short-lived childhood stint of attempted supervillainy by buying Cadbury's in the intent to steal the world's chocolate for himself. _

(After a stubborn month of starving himself he'd finally gave in and eaten his salad. If there has been one thing L Lawliet has Watari convinced of, it is his apparent indestructibility, and sometimes it is the only thing that keeps him optimistic about the conclusion to this case. He also knows that L would say exactly the same about him, and the thought makes him smile to himself.)

There was a sudden noise from next door, followed by something that sounded very much like _'What are the chances that Light-kun would kill me right now if I made a joke about fingering the culprit,'_ followed by a louder noise, most likely made by an item of furniture being thrown across the room.

Every so often while cleaning his beloved rifle, Watari liked to think about his dear old departed wife.

She had always been quite the woman, most certainly – until her untimely death by lightning during a hot air balloon ride. The last time he had ever allowed himself to cry had in fact been during her funeral. In many ways, she was much unlike said rifle. Unfaithful, aimless, and never checked. But, like it, she was certainly useful, and that was mainly if it so happened that he needed to imagine something more unpalatable than whatever image his brain was at present unfortunately occupied with.

Or perhaps, some more ... _positive_ thoughts would do him better instead. _There are many ways to end a human life_ , Watari recalled as he moved onto polishing.

Whether by stabbing, poisoning (always a classic), or decapitation, the sheer variety was at times simply staggering.

The greatest variety, of course, being in methods of execution: no list would be complete without the colourful medieval classic of drawing and quartering, or perhaps a little iron poker torture -- and then the more subdued modern alternatives: lethal injection, hanging, electric chairs.

Electric chairs –- L had never liked those. By the age of ten he'd extensively researched just about every method of execution there was, and had watched them, too. Some nights he'd be up staring at video after video alone in the dark, huddled in a blanket and shaking harder than he'd ever before. But he'd never look away, and no matter how many times Watari tried to tell him to stop after he'd wake up screaming nightmare after nightmare, but of course, he never listened until he got tired of it on his own.

Incidentally, they were not used in Japan for capital punishment. What a shame.

Another crash from next door.

...But that was hardly the end to the list, of course. _Hmm._ Death by drowning, death by falling, death by illness. Death by strangulation – sometimes bare-handed was the way to go. There was admittedly a certain amount of satisfaction involved with that.

But as he admired the gun in his hands it was hard not to recognise the simple efficiency of a shot through the heart.

Watari whistled pleasantly to himself as he put the rifle back inside its case and closed it. That boy, Kira or not... had better take responsibility if he didn't want to receive one.


End file.
